Another Saturday Night

I remember when there was always something to do on Saturday night. Now days there is seldom something to do, unless it is at home with just Ryan and I. Stefan is off with his friends like a normal 23 year old should be. But is it normal for a 53 year old to be home every weekend, one after another? I am determined to find an affordable way to get out of the house and around people again. I am starved for conversation, laughter and company.

Just Hanging In There

I have been feeling pretty low physically, which is normal during this part of the chemo cycle. I feel like maybe I am starting to come back to normal though. I hope so as it is only a week until my next session.


The support group was nice. It was all people that went through cancer some time ago though. It is nice to see so many long time survivors. I would have loved to seen someone who had gone through the same kind of cancer as mine recently though. They are really kind and nice people.

This new med I am on for pain is non narcotic but still makes me very sleepy. I almost fell asleep on the phone with my Mother this morning. I look forward to a day with no pills.

I continue to wait for news from Social Security. My calls go unanswered...........so all I can do is wait it seems. Every few weeks I update the bookkeepers at the different Doctor's offices. They are being patient, thank goodness.

Tomorrow I hope to take Ryan swimming. I hope it is not too cold! I cannot take the heat of the day today or would have gone today. He really needs to get out and do something! He is such a good boy and really is  helpful to me in many ways. He senses when I am down and tries to cheer me. I am so blessed to have this special boy.

Not much else for news here. I am a bit bored but that is my own fault. There are things I could/should be doing!!!! Perhaps I will have the ummpf to do them tomorrow.

Bouncing Back

Wow kind of a roller coaster here. I feel good again. I am going to a cancer support group tonight. A good place to listen and to talk at. I know I talk about it too much but it is on my mind all the time. Maybe this way  I can get it out of there and have some time not thinking about cancer. I have been talking to the woman who runs the group for some time now and she is very dedicated to helping people. It promises to be a good experience.

Rough Day

There was no warning. I felt great yesterday and really bad today. I cannot complain too much though as I have many more good days than bad. Tomorrow I am off to the Doc again in Appleton. I have to take Ryan so I am hoping he is up for it. He likes the ride part but the waiting in small offices not so much. I wish I could just get some energy up, that is the hard part. I feel as if I just ran the Boston Marathon ;) and in reality I barely left the couch all day.

Another Blessing

No surgery for Stefan! At least right now and there may be a good surgery in the future..........long story and really his to tell if he so choses to. All I can say is that the storms of today continue to pass by and leave us standing strong because of Heavenly Father's kindness and mercy.

Another Day

Well Stefan will see the Doctor in Appleton today for deterimination of exactly what they will do. It looks like next week now. He is still discouraged but who would not be?

I am feeling a bit better. Love this sunshine. I am comforted by the fact that God sees us through each storm, no matter what. Not always when or how I feel it will happen but God guides us through in the end. So no more time to waste worrying . It will be okay, it always is.

Another Storm

It has been decided that Stefan needs surgery now. He has a strangulated hernia that must be repaired. So no work for him for awhile. He is so discouraged. It is hard to explain to him how God has a plan when the plans so often involve Stefan suffering. I pray he is shown that God does love him too.

I am feeling the low that comes mid cycle chemo therapy. I used my handicap card and even the go - cart  to get around at Wal mart today. Most of the money went to the pharmacy as usual. No wonder they are always building a new Wal Mart! They are making money hand over fist! I am just hoping for a nice nap this afternoon, a little escape from the storm.............so I can gather my wits and my strengths and go forward with a good attitude.