change my attitude? Face being alone with Ryan the rest of my life? Accept that I will never have a social life again.
When Stefan and his girlfriend move out it will be just Ryan and I. Stefan rarely talks to me anyway and when he does it is usually to cut me down or swear at me. So it might be better. How I wish Ryan could talk to me. Days and days go by when the only person I talk to is the clerk at the store or a receptionist to make a doctor's appointment. I spend hours each day in tears of loneliness. I am not a loner. Yes, I know I have Heavenly Father, and believe me I pray. There is never anything to look forward to at the end of the week. Rarely does anyone visit. It seems like life is over for me. I will never find anyone to watch Ryan so I can have a break. I grow more depressed by the day............how can I stop this? I hate being like this. I want to be brave, accepting of my life and try to make the best of it. I just cannot find anything to smile about any more. The way I am now, I can see why no one wants to be my friend. Lord please help me change.