Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween
from Chewbacca
aka Sovin

Time to Play

My grandson Sovin thinks 5 am is great time to play! He may be right. Being silly, singing songs, playing horsey and peek a boo are great stress relievers! I like waking up and smiling right away. I hope the rest of the day is this good!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Another Test Today

Today I had a PEP Scan. This is another test recommended to look for cancer. I won't have results until next week. A chest xray showed I still have a small pneumo thorax (small part of my lung collasped) so I cannot do any lifting or anything strenuous but I have plenty of other things I can do. I am grateful for the weekend and being able to just stay home and enjoy my family. My sweet grandson is here for the night and he keeps me smiling!

Thursday, October 29, 2009


The Biopsy found no cancer!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now tell me that prayers and blessing from a Priesthood holder don't work. I am a living testimony of the power of the Priesthood and prayer. Thank you to all of you that prayed for me! I feel like I am starting life all over today!

I still have more tests and some serious health problems to deal with but I have faith that I will do fine with that too.

Thank Heavenly Father for the many blessing you have today. We take too much for granted.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Gift of a True Friend

My dear friend Heidi drove me to Green Bay to have the procedure I have talked about so much here. She went over and above as there were a few complications and it took from 9 Am until about 6 PM. Now Heidi and I being the people we are came prepared to chat a bit. Well maybe more than a bit, try about 8 hours of time! Did we have any dull spots we stretched for a subject? Nooooooooooope. My chats with Heidi are always uplifting, interesting, amusing and current. I can talk to her about anything and be comfortable.  What a wonderful gift that is. I know that she would run to my side eager to help in any way. As she already has many times. It seems like all of you sisters are built like that. Cheerfully doing service, genuinly concerned about your sisters. I am so blessed by each of you. Thank you!

One thoughtful friend left a plate of wonderful cookies and ran off before they could be thanked. (thank you, they are yummy!) A bag of Jeannet Rekows yummy potoato buns was delivered by the Missionaries the other day. Big hugs to you Sister Rekow!

All of the  thoughfulness, prayers and kind deeds are making things so much easier for me. Thank you everyone!

I should have news by Friday!

Not Convinced It Is Cancer!

The Pulmonary Specialist says he is not completely convinced it is cancer. So today he will do the biopsy and I should know something by Friday at the latest. His last words to me today were
I hope I can give you some good news , well at least better news than you were expecting.
There would still be the mass to deal with but to know it is not spreading to the rest of my body and killing would be a great thing.
Me thinks that all those prayers are working!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Morning of

It s a big day for me. I will have at least a few anwers today. Good or bad  (and to be honest I have been prepared not to have a lot of good news) I am anxious to hear. I will at least feel as I have some direction...........some idea of what I need to be doing. I know I have lots of prayers being said for me and Heavenly Father will hear them and what is right for me will happen. I trust my God.

Monday, October 26, 2009


Things came together today thanks to a Doctor who realized how urgent this is and is willing to cut red tape and get things done! I have someone working on insurance and an appointment tomorrow with a Pulmonary Specialist who also does chest surgery. He will consult tomorrow, do a bronchoscopy/biopsy another day and hopefully remove the mass or a good part of it all this week.

I needed my little grandson here to cheer me up tonight. He is staying the night with us and I am just pleased as can be about that! Here is my little guy, though he is a lot bigger now!

2 AM

Yep 2 AM! I so want to go to sleep but my mind is racing. Wondering...... what the week will bring. Why a cat scan taken in 2007 showed a very small mass but somehow it was missed and I was never told about it and it was never investigated. Why my medical coverage is ending just when I need it most. (Oct 31) Why the clinic, the doctors and receptionists I speak to don't feel the urgency of this. I know I can handle this if I can just keep my mind from focusing on these things that I cannot change. I wish I had an off switch!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

More Blessings

I feel so loved today.

My birth mother in Indianappolis called to tell me her church and the church of her friend were praying for me today.

A good friend of mine offered to take me to the appointment for my biopsy. I will probably take her up on the offer because she is such a positive person. She and her whole family for that matter are always doing service for someone. I have never heard her be anything but cheerful and happy to do so. They are great examples of what Heavenly Father wants us to do.

The missionaries from our church stopped to see how I was today. I was so happy to have the company. These boys who unselfishly dedicate two years of their lives to sharing the Gospel are so inspiring.

My good friend who I don't spend a lot of time with but share so much with in email is so encouraging. Her letters always leave me feeling better. Her courage in enduring her own illness is a great example to me.

Two Bishops from my church gave me a beautiful blessing tonight. I feel like I can handle whatever comes my way now.

To all of you who so kindly support and comfort me, Thank you.

Sunday Morning

So much comes to mind when you face something like this. You have an immediate rush of love for your family and friends. You don't see their faults. You see only how very much you love them and want to be with them. Your differences are put aside and you see how truly wonderful they are. I am thankful for this opening of eyes regardless of what happens in the next few weeks. I needed this. I promise to myself this day to always look towards my loved ones with a less critical view.

Yesterday's problems are still there but they don't seem like mountains I can not climb anymore. Some people may feel I have really poor luck. However, I have had some incredibly good luck in my life. I have never faced the huge problems that some people in this world face on a daily basis. I have never watched my children go hungry or been homeless. I cannot possibly count all my blessings.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Lifting Burdens


Waiting is the worst. I am trying to keep busy but my mind keeps drifting back to what is going to happen to me this next week. If it is lung cancer I know it's usually surgery if possible, chemotherapy then radiation. If not? ....... I worry most about my youngest son Ryan. I need to be here to take care of him. There is no one else that can do it at this point.

I am using housework, tv, and typing ( my temporary part time job) to avoid thinking about it. I am afraid but since I believe Heavenly Father has a plan for me both in this life and in the next I am pretty calm. He knows what he is doing. He has helped me through many storms and I know he will not abandon me now. I am lucky to have supportive family and friends too. Here is a video I watched today that inspired me. I hope you take the time to watch it too.

Staying Alive

I had hoped to use this space to blog about my family, interests and day to day life. Well day to day life has suddenly changed for me. I had a cat scan for kidney stones a few days ago and a lung mass was found. Another cat scan focusing on my chest only found a very large mass in one lung and small infiltrates in both lungs. While it does not look real good so far, I have not had the biopsy yet. That will be happening sometime this following week. I am anxious to get that done and find out exactly what I am facing. I am prepared to fight for my life as I have way too many responsibilites and too many things I want to do yet. This blog will still follow my life but there will be a lot of talk about my health and how I am going to try to fix it.